Episode 1x12 "The Return of the King" [Continued]

[queenofmay]

Marian confided the whole tale in her father, though it did little good. They discussed the impossible wishes and wants for escape in glances which needed no words. He spoke about the king in a hushed tone, even though she didn’t' respond except to contemplate her cup of water.

She missed a few rambling moments until he mentioned her mother's veil in a half sentence she'd ended simply by jumping out of her chair, causing it to rattle loudly against the floor, and striding toward the front door, stopping only to pick up her sword.

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[queenofmay]

Marian fled into the house, past her father, as the fight against her tearing eyes was failing; fled away from Robin with his emotional outbursts--fueled by faith, by determination, by things she couldn't dare name no less think without the world splitting apart entirely--and his continuation of unfounded promises she wanted to hold tighter than the air in her chest.

She couldn't stand still or sit, running her hands over chairs, his words shouting in her head, her skin feeling suddenly too tight. Hoping for something she couldn't name she looked up to her father, only to have him start into a diatribe on needing to leave to Merton because the King was endanger.

Not forgotten that his daughter was in danger, was to be married to the lap dog of the Vasey, a man who would be Vasey's lap dog even once he was de-throwned. Not forgotten....just not as important as The King.

Gentle toward his intentions, she looked to the table, moved both that something had gotten her father active once more and brought to a deep empty feeling that it wasn't her.

"A man must protect his king. A man must fight for his king."

"If I could protect you and the king I would."

"I know."

....because the king would ever come first before her life. How could she think five years might have changed that? His leaving had ruined her life once. How could his return have the assumption of being any different now?

And so she said the words she needed to say to assuage his guilt as she felt her foundation become colder. Perhaps she said the words for herself as well, even as what she saw most was Robin's face, angry and screaming at her, in the dim of the dusk.

I am marrying a man I do not love. There are worse things in Heaven and Earth.

And that was when the idea hit her, which the echo of Robin's words. She would give up the Nightwatchman, extract a gift and sacrifice of him, as well.