(no subject)

[queenofmay]

Marian had come outside from her interactions by the window.

To escape the prying eyes and fingers that kept trying to make it better.

They couldn't. If she wanted to stain her soul here, for the betterment of the world she loved best there, it was best she did it without their concern anyway. So maybe it was best she was alone until she could find her ex-fiancé, as well.

She wandered the shore, stopping only a moment to gaze at the Hope.

They'd talked about living to see light and goodness.

Marian frowned. She'd never made it.

Now they were both gone.


Settling into the sand, not too far or too close to the Hope, or the ocean, Marian sat down and watched the late winter clouds roll over the sea.

---

Marian blinked in confusion as her eyes opened.

Nathan had said they--those between the realms--didn't sleep.

What had happened?

The air....smelled sweet.

She looked around her.

The sky was an endless, peerless ribbon, the beach was golden and tan and glowing as though the light was coming from underneath it, and the ocean seemed more salty, more brilliantly blue and silver and white, and almost appeared as though, out there, right where the seas met sky, to be a shimmering, shifting field of flowers.

It was so calm and cool. The breeze ruffled her hair..

...and none of it ruffled her.

Comments

[treading_dawn]

"Child."

Aslan's voice is gentle.

"You have, in your own way, been seeking me a long time."

[queenofmay]

"I-"

Marian starts. But what would she say?

She hasn't prayed in years. Not in words. Not really. Not honestly.

She's been so mad at him (the man, because she doesn't place them exactly the same evening knowing yet) for so long. Because he took so much from her, from her people.

And yet the excuse feels small now.

Not good enough. Not even for all those lives.

She walks closer because she can't think that she should be doing anything else, her eyes looking down toward the sand that seemed more golden.

"I didn't know you would come." Then, after the smallest pause and a look upward. "Is it already time for me to leave here, too?"

There is something in that. Sadness but it's also-- Well, Caspian's words, but even more it's Edmund's drawing. Somewhere filled with only light and peace.

[treading_dawn]

"Time and more than, dear one."

He pads a little closer, breath so very sweet.

"But you will find your way back again."

[queenofmay]

"It's not time then."

Marian squares her shoulders, aware of the weight there. But she can't convince herself to pull up a wall of simply being okay with it.

"I don't understand."

She got distracted, raising her hand, reaching out to touch him, even though she stopped a few inches from actually doing it. Her hand just hovering in the air.

"Why now?"

[treading_dawn]

He takes another slow step forward, rough tawny mane brushing against her fingers.

"You need have no fear, child. That answer, too, shall come with time."

All things do.

[queenofmay]

There are tears now and a step forward, running both of her hands through it. The sweetest breath and the softest feeling.

And somehow she knows it had to happen. Everything that is happening at home. Everything that happens to the people, to England, even what happened to her. It's the way its supposed to be.

That everything everywhere is.

And it hurts but it is so beautiful and right.


It takes a few minutes before she's composed again, but not composed like she would be anywhere before. It's lighter, the weight on her heart isn't there, and she doesn't want to hide.

And that's okay, too.

Which makes her laugh eventually; and that feels even better. Leaning in she says quietly, more merrily than she thinks she may have sounded in years,

"I always thought I'd think you wouldn't be tall enough, or big enough, or-- something enough. But you aren't. You're just--"

Marian smiled, with a joyful shrug.

"Just right."

[treading_dawn]

That roar, quiet and bright and sweet, is the sound of a Lion's laughter.

"Shall you walk with me a space, Daughter of Eve? There is much to see along the shoreline."

[queenofmay]

"Of course," Marian nodded, standing back straight, leaving one hand lingering in his fur.

She thought, even as it didn't feel strange knowing where or likely who she'd been only minutes ago, she'd likely follow him anywhere.

[treading_dawn]

Aslan moves along the beachhead, pawprints less deep than one might expect of a lion of his size, keeping pace with Marian.

Time passes, though the warmth of the sunlight remains, as does the thick, heady smell of violets.

And gradually, as if without much thought, their path begins to lead inland.

Toward a forest, glowing bright as any jewel under the sun.

[queenofmay]

She understands why they all got along so well. Why they all smiled when she spoke of her Sherwood, even when it's branches did not sway as though they were dancing this way.

As they walk there is laughter and quiet words and it's the most important and inconsequential things she's ever said. But most especially there's a freedom in all of it.

And somewhere, she can't remember where exactly, she looked at him and knew she had to go, knew she had to go now--


(Further Up, Further In)


--knew that was why he was here, why he'd come to her.

Marian found herself running toward the forest smiling, laughing, raven locks flying like a banner behind her.

She had somewhere she was supposed to be, somewhere she belonged.

Somewhere that needed her.