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alemara, but it grew into more
1. Marian knew what her choice and her sacrifice would be the moment she said that she agreed to marry Guy. She just took weeks because she was terrified about just how easy that knowledge had come to her.
2. Marian always hoped Robin would save her from the situation she got herself into. She was depressed but also furious that on her wedding day he still had not. It was not until she was faced with Guy, the priest mumbling next to her, that she knew she would never be good enough, for Robin, but, more importantly, for herself if she left it to someone else to rescue her.
3. The first time Marian knew she loved Robin she was eight years old and her petticoats were tangled in a tree. She’d hated telling him, eyes full of tears and face red, they were her favorite, they’d been kept since her mother’s childhood. He’d shaken his head, making a joke about her bad planning of using her best gear to traipse in the forest, but his hands had moved deftly and slowly to pull out each thorn without causing even one more rip.
4. Long before that time her father had lost count of how many dresses and petticoats she’d lost in the same way. Sometimes he blames Marian, sometimes he blamed Robin, most of the time he glowered at both and was glad that he had the money and patience not to worry about it too much.
5. She’s decided this may very well be why her father does not complain about her wearing pants now. Or it may be that he’s seen enough of her spirit for years to understand that telling her not to wear them would be just as good as being told to wear them more often and more obviously.
6. In Marian many year’d opinion, her father should have had more children. He’s a man who more children would not have passed badly on. This thought is more often the case when he guards her too closely from growing up or moving onward. But, also, in the moment when he’s looking at her and she’s sure he’s thinking of her mother, of the fact he needs to protect her more so she won’t die as well.
7. Marian’s pain tolerance does not come singularly from her years as the Nightwatchman. Those years only helped her to slip into not reacting at all in sound or stance when something did hurt. It was, in all truth, caused by Robin blowing up at her once where she was about ten for getting hurt while tagging along with him and Much. She stopped making any noise about getting hurt near him after that, regardless of whether it was a splinter or twisted ankle or skinned shin.
8. She did not pine for Robin once he was away in the Holy Lands. To say she pined for him would be to acknowledge she was counting down the days, telling herself he’d come back to her, and that she allowed herself to be wholly aware of the idea he was a world away fighting in a war where he could die every single second of her waking and sleeping day. This was not an awareness she could live under and she’d made the choice not to before she even knew how gruesome it might be.
9. That did not stop her, though, from standing at her window every night, when she was happy and sad and angered and injured and just alive, to pray that he was still alive and would come home.
10. Marian father before being a Sheriff was a knight of The Lionheart. She experienced being a ward of the crown for a few years at a very young age while her father was off fighting and she was left to their mercies. She was never quite fond of what little she saw of Prince John then, and she’s not reconciled herself to the fact she wasn’t surprised he became such a bad regent in his brothers stead.
11. Marian did have a nurse maid growing up, which made it easier for her to be watched and taught the duties of a young Lady while her father was at his duties of running Nottinghamshire. Her name was Henrietta. She was a rotund sort of woman, with sharp keen eyes, who always showed up before Marian could get herself into too much trouble, with a laughter that could brighten the darkest day and a wicked humor.
12. In all the years since she left her warding, she’s sure no ones found all the hiding places and secret passages Robin, Much and she made such fun use of during the times they spent figuring the place out.
13. Marian is aware that Much loves Robin, and that Much may not be quite aware of how much that really is. But then she’s pretty sure that since he left with Robin, Much probably spent the better part of their childhood thinking the very same thing about her. Especially since he might be infuriating, but no one can quite keep from loving Robin.
14. Marian has never quite forgiven Much for the fact he left with Robin to the Crusades and she could not.
15. Marian did not kiss Robin goodbye when he left for the Crusades. In fact, the only thing she did when he came to talk to her, all arrogant amusement and big grin with his horse and sword shining in the sun, was slam the door in his face. She’s regretted it, but she was too scared, hurt and angry to be sensible at sixteen, especially where it came to him.
16. Marian is a Lady first and foremost. This does not stop her from being a rebel in a mask, a wild one on a horse, a knight trained fighter who loves weapons, a tom boy in pants, a devourer of knowledge, or a patron to the ravens.
17. Marian does not regret, and will never admit just how much she misses, the pranks and practical jokes she used to help Robin carry out when they were much younger. She’s got a mischievous streak a mile wide that she conceals very well. She’s the kind of person who in the right mood would switch the salt and sugar in someone else’s house; but she’d never make it so one would get truly harmed.
18. She is not terrified of the Sheriff, or having to abandon her station, or having to face the fact she still madly, deeply, uncontrollably loves Robin. She is not even so afraid of death that she hasn’t thought it might be easier to go toward that light (…though she won’t because she still has too much to do.) She’s slightly scared of being helpless, but mostly she’s terrified of the things her imagination makes up that might happen to her father if she wasn’t there.
19. It did not take long in Marian’s childhood for her to have the Earl point out she was and would always be the daughter of a Knight, even if he’d become Sheriff, and that while she was nobility, she was not of the same class as Robin. But he could not debate, through many year’s time, that she was the only one who could keep his son in check while diminishing his temper, bring about his reason, and keeping him from doing too many dastardly deeds.
20. The Earl never told her that though, which might be why she stood shocked when he came to apologize on Robin’s behalf for the behavior and treatment of their engagement ended the week after his son left for the Crusades. He did not say that she was any better than he had ever claimed her to be, but she remembers how cold and warm she felt at once when he told he, upon leaving, that he was truly sorry she was not going to be looking after Locksley for him, understanding both what he said and meant; and just how much he meant it.
alemara, but it grew into more1. Marian knew what her choice and her sacrifice would be the moment she said that she agreed to marry Guy. She just took weeks because she was terrified about just how easy that knowledge had come to her.
2. Marian always hoped Robin would save her from the situation she got herself into. She was depressed but also furious that on her wedding day he still had not. It was not until she was faced with Guy, the priest mumbling next to her, that she knew she would never be good enough, for Robin, but, more importantly, for herself if she left it to someone else to rescue her.
3. The first time Marian knew she loved Robin she was eight years old and her petticoats were tangled in a tree. She’d hated telling him, eyes full of tears and face red, they were her favorite, they’d been kept since her mother’s childhood. He’d shaken his head, making a joke about her bad planning of using her best gear to traipse in the forest, but his hands had moved deftly and slowly to pull out each thorn without causing even one more rip.
4. Long before that time her father had lost count of how many dresses and petticoats she’d lost in the same way. Sometimes he blames Marian, sometimes he blamed Robin, most of the time he glowered at both and was glad that he had the money and patience not to worry about it too much.
5. She’s decided this may very well be why her father does not complain about her wearing pants now. Or it may be that he’s seen enough of her spirit for years to understand that telling her not to wear them would be just as good as being told to wear them more often and more obviously.
6. In Marian many year’d opinion, her father should have had more children. He’s a man who more children would not have passed badly on. This thought is more often the case when he guards her too closely from growing up or moving onward. But, also, in the moment when he’s looking at her and she’s sure he’s thinking of her mother, of the fact he needs to protect her more so she won’t die as well.
7. Marian’s pain tolerance does not come singularly from her years as the Nightwatchman. Those years only helped her to slip into not reacting at all in sound or stance when something did hurt. It was, in all truth, caused by Robin blowing up at her once where she was about ten for getting hurt while tagging along with him and Much. She stopped making any noise about getting hurt near him after that, regardless of whether it was a splinter or twisted ankle or skinned shin.
8. She did not pine for Robin once he was away in the Holy Lands. To say she pined for him would be to acknowledge she was counting down the days, telling herself he’d come back to her, and that she allowed herself to be wholly aware of the idea he was a world away fighting in a war where he could die every single second of her waking and sleeping day. This was not an awareness she could live under and she’d made the choice not to before she even knew how gruesome it might be.
9. That did not stop her, though, from standing at her window every night, when she was happy and sad and angered and injured and just alive, to pray that he was still alive and would come home.
10. Marian father before being a Sheriff was a knight of The Lionheart. She experienced being a ward of the crown for a few years at a very young age while her father was off fighting and she was left to their mercies. She was never quite fond of what little she saw of Prince John then, and she’s not reconciled herself to the fact she wasn’t surprised he became such a bad regent in his brothers stead.
11. Marian did have a nurse maid growing up, which made it easier for her to be watched and taught the duties of a young Lady while her father was at his duties of running Nottinghamshire. Her name was Henrietta. She was a rotund sort of woman, with sharp keen eyes, who always showed up before Marian could get herself into too much trouble, with a laughter that could brighten the darkest day and a wicked humor.
12. In all the years since she left her warding, she’s sure no ones found all the hiding places and secret passages Robin, Much and she made such fun use of during the times they spent figuring the place out.
13. Marian is aware that Much loves Robin, and that Much may not be quite aware of how much that really is. But then she’s pretty sure that since he left with Robin, Much probably spent the better part of their childhood thinking the very same thing about her. Especially since he might be infuriating, but no one can quite keep from loving Robin.
14. Marian has never quite forgiven Much for the fact he left with Robin to the Crusades and she could not.
15. Marian did not kiss Robin goodbye when he left for the Crusades. In fact, the only thing she did when he came to talk to her, all arrogant amusement and big grin with his horse and sword shining in the sun, was slam the door in his face. She’s regretted it, but she was too scared, hurt and angry to be sensible at sixteen, especially where it came to him.
16. Marian is a Lady first and foremost. This does not stop her from being a rebel in a mask, a wild one on a horse, a knight trained fighter who loves weapons, a tom boy in pants, a devourer of knowledge, or a patron to the ravens.
17. Marian does not regret, and will never admit just how much she misses, the pranks and practical jokes she used to help Robin carry out when they were much younger. She’s got a mischievous streak a mile wide that she conceals very well. She’s the kind of person who in the right mood would switch the salt and sugar in someone else’s house; but she’d never make it so one would get truly harmed.
18. She is not terrified of the Sheriff, or having to abandon her station, or having to face the fact she still madly, deeply, uncontrollably loves Robin. She is not even so afraid of death that she hasn’t thought it might be easier to go toward that light (…though she won’t because she still has too much to do.) She’s slightly scared of being helpless, but mostly she’s terrified of the things her imagination makes up that might happen to her father if she wasn’t there.
19. It did not take long in Marian’s childhood for her to have the Earl point out she was and would always be the daughter of a Knight, even if he’d become Sheriff, and that while she was nobility, she was not of the same class as Robin. But he could not debate, through many year’s time, that she was the only one who could keep his son in check while diminishing his temper, bring about his reason, and keeping him from doing too many dastardly deeds.
20. The Earl never told her that though, which might be why she stood shocked when he came to apologize on Robin’s behalf for the behavior and treatment of their engagement ended the week after his son left for the Crusades. He did not say that she was any better than he had ever claimed her to be, but she remembers how cold and warm she felt at once when he told he, upon leaving, that he was truly sorry she was not going to be looking after Locksley for him, understanding both what he said and meant; and just how much he meant it.