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queenofmayThe next morning was spoken for already, The Council of Nobles, which Much would attend and Guy would be absent for. She really had no longing to be at it but it was made even more aware she needed to go as her father was dispirited by something that day, making him unable to attend, requiring her presence in is absence.
The Lords arrived and then her stomach went cold as Guy marched in. Walking up to him, a weakness easily forgive for their betrothed state, she queried him harshly, but quietly, about why he was there, already know in the put of her stomach something had gone terribly wrong. He asked her forgiveness, told her that loyalties were divided and then, just as simply, that Lambert was now dead.
Shaken, she clapped through Much’s introduction and the Sheriff’s new circus act, numbed as she stared at Gisborne over his shoulder. He’d ruined her plan, Lambert was dead….betrayed her trust. She kept hearing the words circle in her head, fingers biting into the arms of her chair to still herself, to not let her reaction show, to not fall apart at having cost another man his life in so short a time.
Marian found herself even unable to speak when her father’s health was inquired upon and she left very quickly to the forest afterward, giving no pause to even say her goodbye’s to either Much or Guy. She rode hard and fast, keeping it all inside, needing to get deeper into the forest. She ran past the places she should have stopped, not looking or listening, but only knowing she had to reach Robin.
Disembarking her horse she told him the news bluntly, with apology, and was beyond grateful when he pulled her into his arms suddenly. The men vanished, as she dissolved into tears, and he held her close until the bout passed. Eventually they spoke in hushed tones, in questions she didn’t have answers for, and, hand in hand, he led her back to the camp where the men were discussing burning the ledger.
Djaq longing to study the book horrified her, as much as the other’s longing to burn it. Robin’s words from the night before kept playing in her head. Who had the right to determine what knowledge was allowed in the world?
Robin was wiser; taking the book from them all, talking about the need to destroy the black powder and to use Much’s position to help them locate it, which would mean more work for her that night. He at least dolled it out with a rather apologetic look and did walk her back to where her horse was talking about it and other things.
Much, apparently unknowing of anything, was throwing a party for the whole of Bon Church. It was both delightful, for the people, and truly horrifying, because she couldn’t see how anyone could be celebrating at a time like this. The first request to speak alone.
She relayed the message Robin need Much to tell his servant girl, finding her temper sorely shorter than normal when he tried to defend her. Admitting first he could not lie to her and then that he liked her, so she snapped easily at him, pointing out the whole situation and lives lost already. Leaving him last with what Robin’s orders were, specifically.
How easily men were swayed by pretty faces; even ones they knew were meant to trap them.
~*~
The night was rough on her, even ending then.
First crying in her bed once the torches were doused. Then throwing the ring across the room.
Dreams of Lambert, then the sergeant at arms, screaming, mixing with Guy and then Robin, and all of it ending in a whirl of blackened bird feathers that formed a horse she was riding on through the darkness of the forest toward this one light in the deep trees she could never get any closer to, until she woke breathless.
Her morning errands for her father took her to the castle, which she tried to end quickly, that she might not run into either Guy or the Sheriff. Luck was not her friend this day, as it had not been the last. She tried to walk past Guy without acknowledging him but he grabbed her arm and spun her about and, gritting her teeth, she managed not to hit him for the offense at any other time seen as an attack to her person.
He apologized, but Marian refused to it. And she admitted to removing the ring when he realized it was missing from her hand, showing him in few words how angry, disgusted and dishonest she felt to Lamberts memory. Without any hesitance she pointed out how he has slighted her in her trust of him, not mentioning how broken she felt to have garnered trust for him, and how it was not fine for him to treat her like she did not matter.
She said words she knew would hurt him most.
“I don’t care. I thought you were a better man. Now I realize I must content myself with disappointment.”
Finding herself first surprised as they left her mouth that they were not wholly lies to manipulate him, she hated him more that he used the situation as an example for how she had no choice, because he was all that stood between her and the fate the sheriff wished for her. Speaking about not seeing her harmed and needing to protect her, as though all he did was a gift she should be grateful for.
She agreed blankly to put the ring back on, telling him they’d never find themselves in this situation again.
That everything was back in its box.
She could not afford the chances she had ill taken on him this last day. Not the trying to communicate, not defending him to Robin, and, definitely, not trust.
The Lords arrived and then her stomach went cold as Guy marched in. Walking up to him, a weakness easily forgive for their betrothed state, she queried him harshly, but quietly, about why he was there, already know in the put of her stomach something had gone terribly wrong. He asked her forgiveness, told her that loyalties were divided and then, just as simply, that Lambert was now dead.
Shaken, she clapped through Much’s introduction and the Sheriff’s new circus act, numbed as she stared at Gisborne over his shoulder. He’d ruined her plan, Lambert was dead….betrayed her trust. She kept hearing the words circle in her head, fingers biting into the arms of her chair to still herself, to not let her reaction show, to not fall apart at having cost another man his life in so short a time.
Marian found herself even unable to speak when her father’s health was inquired upon and she left very quickly to the forest afterward, giving no pause to even say her goodbye’s to either Much or Guy. She rode hard and fast, keeping it all inside, needing to get deeper into the forest. She ran past the places she should have stopped, not looking or listening, but only knowing she had to reach Robin.
Disembarking her horse she told him the news bluntly, with apology, and was beyond grateful when he pulled her into his arms suddenly. The men vanished, as she dissolved into tears, and he held her close until the bout passed. Eventually they spoke in hushed tones, in questions she didn’t have answers for, and, hand in hand, he led her back to the camp where the men were discussing burning the ledger.
Djaq longing to study the book horrified her, as much as the other’s longing to burn it. Robin’s words from the night before kept playing in her head. Who had the right to determine what knowledge was allowed in the world?
Robin was wiser; taking the book from them all, talking about the need to destroy the black powder and to use Much’s position to help them locate it, which would mean more work for her that night. He at least dolled it out with a rather apologetic look and did walk her back to where her horse was talking about it and other things.
Much, apparently unknowing of anything, was throwing a party for the whole of Bon Church. It was both delightful, for the people, and truly horrifying, because she couldn’t see how anyone could be celebrating at a time like this. The first request to speak alone.
She relayed the message Robin need Much to tell his servant girl, finding her temper sorely shorter than normal when he tried to defend her. Admitting first he could not lie to her and then that he liked her, so she snapped easily at him, pointing out the whole situation and lives lost already. Leaving him last with what Robin’s orders were, specifically.
How easily men were swayed by pretty faces; even ones they knew were meant to trap them.
~*~
The night was rough on her, even ending then.
First crying in her bed once the torches were doused. Then throwing the ring across the room.
Dreams of Lambert, then the sergeant at arms, screaming, mixing with Guy and then Robin, and all of it ending in a whirl of blackened bird feathers that formed a horse she was riding on through the darkness of the forest toward this one light in the deep trees she could never get any closer to, until she woke breathless.
Her morning errands for her father took her to the castle, which she tried to end quickly, that she might not run into either Guy or the Sheriff. Luck was not her friend this day, as it had not been the last. She tried to walk past Guy without acknowledging him but he grabbed her arm and spun her about and, gritting her teeth, she managed not to hit him for the offense at any other time seen as an attack to her person.
He apologized, but Marian refused to it. And she admitted to removing the ring when he realized it was missing from her hand, showing him in few words how angry, disgusted and dishonest she felt to Lamberts memory. Without any hesitance she pointed out how he has slighted her in her trust of him, not mentioning how broken she felt to have garnered trust for him, and how it was not fine for him to treat her like she did not matter.
She said words she knew would hurt him most.
“I don’t care. I thought you were a better man. Now I realize I must content myself with disappointment.”
Finding herself first surprised as they left her mouth that they were not wholly lies to manipulate him, she hated him more that he used the situation as an example for how she had no choice, because he was all that stood between her and the fate the sheriff wished for her. Speaking about not seeing her harmed and needing to protect her, as though all he did was a gift she should be grateful for.
She agreed blankly to put the ring back on, telling him they’d never find themselves in this situation again.
That everything was back in its box.
She could not afford the chances she had ill taken on him this last day. Not the trying to communicate, not defending him to Robin, and, definitely, not trust.