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[queenofmay]

Marian scrambled out her door the moment she saw it, all grace lost with her plunge into the sea and barely regained with the lead from Will, hoping without any realistic expectation to out run the weight which crushed the inside of her being.

Hating him, as much as you could while utterly rejoicing you'd watched a love one achieve their final and best dream, that it was still there on the other side of the door. Everything was still there. The feel of the ocean on her skin and hugging him and of being sure this could not, would not be the end.

And the fact those things did not change grief.

Nor did it change the sea soaked gown and her father dictating, as she deftly avoided looking him in the eye for fear he'd see how stricken she'd been, to her about the tenant she needed to see.

She agreed, hastily and perhaps even part-rudely, grabbing the thick white cloak and thinking only one thing as she dashed out the door and into the attached stable.

Escape.

Lineave, going as fast as they could from the moment she was prepped and Marian was astride, took her in the direction, opposite of the tenant, toward Sherwood.

Her bower. Her safety net. Her endless home.

Her, first and last and best, Sanctuary.

Comments

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

There's one feeling only spelled in the thudding hoofbeats and the shaking leaves that tremble in her wake--panic. Blind panic, and such a thing is dangerous in the close trees, where any sudden movement might mean attack, or danger. Yet, in the wood, which is so huge and old, such a human emotion is quickly swallowed and forgotten. There is none around to mark its passing save a few deer who startle and bound away, white tails flashing, and the man who darts after them.

It's the deer Robin sees, and even while the hoofbeats fade he ducks and runs to a clearing that he knows lies ahead on the rider's path. His bow is light and compact; he pulls it over his head, brushing away undergrowth with its curves.

He's there ahead split seconds before the great white horse bursts from the treea, and he's there to see Marian's white face and her eyes glittering with exhaustion and some great burning sorrow that paints brilliant color on her lips. He can only stand and stare, the curved bow forgotten by his side.

"Marian--?"

[queenofmay]

Her expression, shocked by his sudden appearance, was too raw for it to show the first whisper of dawning horror.

He was not supposed to be here.

Not now.

This was hers.

Hers.

He left--her and the forest--and this forest, this sanctuary, was hers. She'd never betrayed it. She shouldn't have to share it.

Not today.

But she was smarter than that, and she clicked her tongue, even as her cheeks flushed she pulled the reigns back and loosened up the rest of her body.

"Woah, girl."

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"What is going on?" he demands, taking quick, sure strides to her side, but all the bluster he can manage still cannot hide or disguise the concern that is behind it.

He looks up at her, one hand on Lineave's bridle, his eyes searching her face, and every muscle and nerve is alight and alive, tensed and searching for any small noise or feeling that might mean followers.

"Are you being chased?"

[queenofmay]

"There's no one," she said looking over her shoulder. As much to avoid looking at his face, collecting herself, straightening her shoulders, as much as looking back to make some estimation's of how far she'd come without watching.

His hand is on her horse and he's still there when she looks back, as much sobered as she can manage now.

Of course. He wants to make sure there's no threat coming to him, she told herself.

"I needed a ride." That was truth and dishonesty, wrapped with the hint of a bite deep in the one, but it's not a slight at him.

She lived in a world of cruelty, but this was unfair.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"I can see that."

She isn't harmed; he can see that much. But her eyes are fierce and hurt, and though her face is pale, her lips are brilliantly red, as though she's been biting them.

His voice is far gentler than he can tell.

"Marian, what is the matter?"

If it was Gisborne, the man is dead.

[queenofmay]

It something of the tone that finally makes her look back at his face.

There was the tension there still, and he was below. Gave her almost the urge to ruffle his hair. A very long ago urge stirred only by goodbyes an strange memories.

She shook her head and shifted, starting to get off the horse. If only to have her hand further from him so that she didn't give into another other strange urges this day.

Taking the deepest breath as she came down facing the horse before she had to turn back to him, making sure to collect the reigns first.

"It's nothing serious."

Only heart breaking.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"Nothing serious?" he says, astonished, and pointedly eyes Lineave's quick breathing and the broken twigs they had left in their path.

It has the added benefit of avoiding the raw pain he sees her in eyes; but what could have put it there? Had Gisborne disappointed her again? Is Vaysey up to something? Is it...

He turns to her, full of sudden, numbing shock and consumed by a single terrible thought. "Your father. Nothing has happened to him?"

[queenofmay]

She looked up confused for a moment, before the thought caught up with her, and there was a quick shake of her head.

"Oh-- no."

No. No. No. No.

That was a door slamming loudly in her head. There was no thinking about her father dying. Not today. Not him being more ill lately and not making the Council for weeks.

Just No.

"He's back home relaxing."

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

He nods, and looks away to run a hand under Lineave's white mane.

It isn't like Marian to rush into the forest without care or direction, and she'd seemed so...surprised to see him, as though she'd forgotten that there were anyone in these woods at all.

"So you have only come for a ride," he repeats, starting to feel rather frustrated.

[queenofmay]

She knew him too well, her stomach not liking the thought, as she did not missed the beginning shade of annoyed disbelief that ran right underside his repetition.

There was the shade of an almost frown trying to form for her, but instead it turned into something half petulant.

"It is what people still use the forest for."

....unlike someone else who might be doing a whole lot more with it.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"Not unless they wish to be robbed. There are some fairly unsavory characters about, I hear."

But the joke falls flat and the beginning smile he had while turning back to her fades. It's one step, two, and he is much closer, now, with concern furrowing his brow and his eyes locked on her face

"Marian. This is not like you. Will you not tell me? Is it Gisborne, has he said something?"

[queenofmay]

It was like the sound went back into it's vacuum.

He's keeps coming so close. Reminding her of Will pulling her in to hug her and making her way through smiling for Caspian. Neither of them is a regret, and neither of them hurt.

Her blue eyes looked at him, darkly, edging on flashing.

"Why do you persist in thinking you shall have my confidences?"

It was easier to be angry. And the words were, but her tone simply wreaked with the day's sorrow.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"Why do you persist in your stubbornness?" he retorts. He is worried, which puts him ill at ease and uncertain, and that makes him angry. Her chin is up and she's glaring at him with eyes full of pain held in, every flicker coldly stopped and pushed back, away from his searching gaze.

He glares back, fingers clenching around the grip of his bow.

[queenofmay]

I lost one of the truest, best people in my life, she can't say. Worse, she's pretty sure she doesn't want him to understand.

"You have no right."

It's cold, and it's harsh and her eyes are narrowed looking at his bewildered green ones.

And it's true.

But it's also isn't.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"Fine."

He lifts his hands, drops them, and turns half away before they come to rest on his hips. Though he stares out at the undergrowth that surrounds them, his next words are directed at Marian; he looks at her over his shoulder before he has even finished speaking. "Forgive me, I must have mistaken your previous lapses of judgement for true confidence. I will not make the mistake again."

It took a moment, but the first flash of confused hurt has been mastered and now his face registers only annoyance...or so Robin believes.

Whether Marian can see past his bluster is another question entirely.

[queenofmay]

"You left!"

The accusation and the anger at his dismay for her words, the smallest of words, left her mouth before she could force her lips to close.

Marian turned away toward Lineave, hand coming up to press at her mouth, as her eyes filled with traitorous tears.

Those words could have been meant for two different men. One of whom she couldn't shout at now. Because leaving was a choice. In both situations. A choice. A selfish and self-serving choice; for better or worse.

Taking a breath, that shook in sound, and her form physically, even as it came out again, the hand moving to cover her eyes--she didn't want him to see her cry, not here, not now--and she shook her head.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

He turns at her outburst, hot words already on his lips

For the Holy Land

For the King

but what he sees stops him with a fist clenching at his heart.

Marian; brave, strong, spirited Marian; Marian leaning against Lineave and quivering as though with a fever, Marian covering her eyes, Marian hiding, and his words all fall away to nothing.

Even when she had come to tell him of Gisborne's betrayal, she had not been so undone, and before he knows it, he has stepped close to lay a gentle hand on her shoulder, the other going to that pale shaking hand covering her eyes and tugging at it tenderly.

And he notices, then, something that had escaped him in his surprise and anger; that Marian's gown and hair are damp, that she has brought with her the scent of salt. It is as though she is surrounded by a mist of tears.

[queenofmay]

Her shoulders curled inwardly, instinctively, the first second he touched them, but she had no chance to force her posture right as attention shifted to the hand taking hers from her face.

She was looking down, trying to force herself to stop now, vision blurred by the tears. She looked up at him, shock present in his expression and such confusion, causing her to feel guilty and embarrassed for her last minute of speech even in its haphazard truth.

Shaking her head, uselessly, she clenched her eyes and lips even as it did no good. The walls inside of her were paper thin with the exhaustion of three days happiness and the onset of grief.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"And I came back.

"Marian." He says her name as softly as if he thinks she will startle, like a deer, and bound away. Even the preceeding words lack their usual self-righteousness; these are only a statement of fact, and a wistful, quiet one at that.

How could she be so devastated, still? She'd been angry with him when he'd returned, but since then they have fallen back into an ease of sorts...and yet...

And yet her tear-brimmed eyes are hardly that way without reason.

You left!

He cups her face with his hand, holds her shoulder steady with the other. "Will you not tell me?"

He's said it once already, but this is a request and not an echo; worry has replaced anger and all he wants is this, a vague feeling, not even a thought: tell me so I can think how to make it right.

[queenofmay]

This wasn't about him.

(Everything *was* about him.)

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried not to flinch at the hand which rounded against her cheek. Familiar. And not allowed. Flickered memory of the morning, at her window, before she'd suddenly been engaged to Sir Guy, when he'd tried to kiss her and everything had been laughing.

"It-" Marian closed her eyes, letting out another breath, trying to find a sentence. One she could say to him. One that wouldn't sound insane. With men from other lands and bars that would sound outlandish. And conversations about Heaven and Lions and it not being over but still hurting.

But still trying.

"A friend-"

She opened her eyes, looking more sideways at his hand. Rough and soft at once, leaning her cheek more against without truly thinking before doing it.

"I lost someone dear."

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

Someone dear.

Not her father. And her mother has been gone for a long time. A tenant, perhaps? Or an old nursemaid?

He doesn't ask. She has been pushed far enough, and further than he ought to have pushed her, so he only nods and his eyes do not leave hers, though her gaze slants away.

"I'm sorry."

Trying to catch her eye is proving to be an exercise in disappointment, so he contents himself with studying her face; the paleness of her cheek, the way her hair falls curling and damp. The hand that had been at her shoulder goes to it; he cradles her head between gentle palms. "You're damp. You must be cold."

[queenofmay]

Marian wasn't really aware of her gown until he made the comment. She should have changed, but it would have tipped off her father or given him the chance to inquire more about her erratic behavior.

But fate left that to Robin. Apparently.

There was the small tug of an embarrassed frown, when she looked back up at him, her breath caught because she was so close and he was holding her face on both sides now, studying her, eyes moving here and there, with an expression of exquisitely tender protectiveness.

"The dress will dry."

Her mouth was obviously not with her today.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"Yes, but I don't want you catching cold."

Some hint of despair or longing or hurt in her eyes makes him drop his, and he moves his hands to her cloak, pulling it more securely about her. That look had shaken him, and not only because it was so strange to see, but because he isn't truly sure within himself that he was meant to see what he had. It discomfits him, not least because there had been an answering flash shooting through him and the sudden, wondering thought that he kills as quickly as it comes: if I had never come back, would this be my eulogy?

"There," he says, and meets her gaze again with the smallest of comforting smiles, his hands warm on her shoulders.

They are really very close. "Was there a shower? I hadn't noticed."

[queenofmay]

(Hi and Goodbye doesn't it sound so cruel)

"No, just my foolishness," she admitted, with the smallest graze of a smile. Though it did nothing to ward away the ache deep inside. The Hope was still there, somewhere, placidly shifting in waves.

Beat.

"Thank you." Marian ruffled the cloak only a little, pulling her arms up around her, wonder how it was they could be so close and yet still feel as though it was far. It would only take perhaps a step or two to be right next to him.

Had it only been a handful of days since he'd held her about the loss of another life?

Glancing at Robin, she wondered if any of this made sense to him and thought somewhere Caspian was laughing. Her voice was softer, this time, almost in lieu of apology. "I hadn't meant to intrude."

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

He's shaking his head already. "It is no intrusion."

She's beginning to warm, and he smiles back, encouragingly, simply disregarding the idea that she might be intruding. If Marian wishes to ride into the forest, he surely would not bar her way, and if she is not being chased by the Sheriff's men or is without her watchdog Gisborne, so much the better.

And...it's good to see her.

[queenofmay]

How easily they shifted, she marveled as her hands peeked out slightly to hold the twin pieces of the cloak front. Her smile curled slightly and she stared up at him, even as his eyes and expression was shifting to something easily more predictable, if not certainly more complicated.

"You are alone?"

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

He spreads his hands, and leans forward as though making a mocking sort of bow, but the smile on his face twists his mouth and sets his eyes laughing.

"As you see."

Still, they aren't far from camp; if she tried he's nearly sure she could smell the far off-fire over which Much was stewing some sort of meat and vegetables.

[queenofmay]

She almost rolled her eyes at his frivolous act display, but her expression settled somewhere along the lines of exasperation.

With a hint of amusement caught up in her still too dark eyes.

Which cleared space for what she'd run from originally: duty.

"Quiet day?" Marian asked with some hope, with a glance around her. 'Except for herself' didn't seem to need mentioning.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"If you do not count Much's prattling on about being a lord or Alan's incessant nonsense, then yes, it is quiet."

What else can he say? That there has been a wary and tense truce in the forest since the day they destroyed the black powder? If it is quiet, it is only because Gisborne has been hunting them less fiercely than usual, and that worries him.

What are they up to, the Sheriff and his lapdog? He fixes his gaze on Marian, wondering. "Have you heard any news from the castle, lately?"

Of course she hasn't. If she had, she would have spoken sooner--and yet his curiousity provokes the question.

[queenofmay]

"There is unrest in the Council, being silenced or ignored, but that is not new."

It was quite like pleasantries, normal with rules and specific turns, if you removed the 'pleasant' part.

"The Sheriff is reclusive when not appearing to punish anyone who trips themselves up in the court yard. That was to be expected after he was denied."

His temper has become a tenement they were used to, but his recent temper tantrum few people understood. Robin Hood had a ledger only a handful of people knew existed.

And....Gisborne. Really she didn't want to thin of that. That brought back Milliways. And the confusing things he said. And what Caspian had said about marriage. Which cycled back into gray eyes and the scent of lilies.

"There's a tenant waiting for me." She said it with some rue, and no real dismissive nature, though mostly because she felt the lurch in her stomach from those thoughts.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

He watches as her eyes flutter away, wondering what on earth the connection might be, unless...

She couldn't still be upset over Gisborne's disappointment, could she?

A friend, she'd said. A friend she'd lost, and speaking of the Sheriff had reminded her, or else her face would not have fallen and her clear eyes would not have turned inwards...?

No, it couldn't be. He stifles the thought at once, setting it firmly aside to its proper place, nodding though he does not yet step away from the mare.

Once, their goodbyes would have been full of smiles and tender words and promises of seeing the other the next day. Now, they are simply reminders of business together.

He cannot dwell on it; this is not the time for sentimentality; still, his voice is a trifle more gentle than it might otherwise have been.

"I don't like it when it is this quiet," he says. "I'm sure they're planning something. You will keep a close watch?"

[queenofmay]

Silence was always pregnant with the next explosion in this world. Perhaps it was why quiet things made them all shy. Even the good ones.

Looking up into his face, as her hand reached out to stroke Lineave lightly, she nodded. "If anything happens you'll know. It might be a week or two. There's an emissary coming to Nottingham Castle soon, which will keep him busy and away from the people with peripheral plans."

Really that sounded as dull as she said it. He got guests often enough. This one wouldn't be all that different. Just another reason for a hunt or a dance or a long dinner which drug on as someone gave speeches.

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"It sounds as though you might have a party invitation soon." He smiles as he says it, though, reassured by her words and byt the knowledge that Marian would know, if any would, whether the Sheriff were up to something.

Just like that, her emotions and thoughts and worries are shunted aside, placed away for her to deal with later, and he is filled with admiration for her strength of mind, for her will.

"You ought to go and see that tenant."

[queenofmay]

Duty felt like a chain. But there really wasn't a place to run now. Robin was in Sherwood. Her father was in the house. And Milliways would feel empty. It was all there was if there wasn't somewhere for her to let it go.

Boosting herself up on her horse, she looked at him in a recondite fashion, ending her words with the smallest smile.

"My luck they'll be complaining about thieves in the woods."

[outlaw-bold.livejournal.com]

"You have to be careful," he says, seriously, holding on to the mare's bridle, and then his cocky smiles shines brilliantly up at her.

"I've heard stories about those thieves. Real bandits, by the sound of them.


"Marian..."

He searches her face, and what he sees there makes his eyes drop momentarily before he meets hers once again. "I'm sorry about your friend."

[queenofmay]

She looked down at here hands at the mention of Caspian before she looked back.

Robin was brilliant, green eyes like summer even in the shade of the trees, careless hair, and that smile, laughingly concerned, which had turned her knees to nothing for so much of her childhood.

She wasn't a child, not by a long shot now, and she still couldn't think he was anything less than brilliant. Maybe even more so here.

Picking up her reigns, she nodded before flicking them. Then she looked back, with the strangest bit of smile curling her lips.

"He would have liked you."

Maybe she said it for him. Maybe she said it for herself.

And maybe, just maybe, it was completely true.